Bandmasters of Raju and Munna Band - Corporate initiated, contract farming experts, sometimes remind me of the bandmasters of the wedding / barat bands in the small mofussil towns of Bihar, and sometimes, of the divine experts, who can sniff and tell the farmer, where to start drilling, for the best likelihood of drawing water at the most convenient depth in the rocky plateau ground.
Needless to say, the farmer is paying on a daily basis, for the expensive drilling equipment, and for the retinue of drilling labour, engineers, managers and water diviners that turns up, and knows very well - it is still undoubtedly his own fate, which will determine his success in drawing water at 50 metres or at 300 metres.
The farmer dares not question the professional competence, of this large retinue of water diviners, or ask for a simple written agreement, of, at what depth, water will be struck. Pay us, watch us, do your bit, and pay us more, will be the likely answer, even as the farmer, tries to hide, his ignorance, of the nuances of modern farming, his cultural illiteracy and lack of modern scientific knowledge in the presence of the confident master weavers of invisible cloth.
The retired, army Brigadiers and Colonels, who make up the Human Resources and farming division bosses, of the corporate charge into Indian contract farming, are no doubt, candid, realistic and earthy people. They do preface, their farm prescriptions, for Indian farmers, with the disclosure, that the Tata Rallis, ITC or Reliance companies, that they represent and get a fat salary from, are really not attempting any convoluted attempt at altruism or have completely charitable motives. Jokingly they ask the doubtful farmers to put on a brave face and proudly join in - "Jai jawan, Jai kisan" in unison with the earthy retired brigadier or colonel, and get to work in earnest. No room for doubting Thomases on Indian contract farming platter.
They know in modern India, the jawan is heading towards UN Security Council and global peace keeping operations, while the kisan is headed towards the blind alley of an undeclared exit policy, while the government cheers on the new marriages being made on the farm lands.
They do twirl their moustaches and with a private smile say, at best, they hope, that contract farming between the corporate and Indian farmer, will not be as exploitative, as that between, Indian government and the Indian farmer who is at the mercy of all and sundry.
Corporate shareholders, they say, will be just slightly better friends of the farmers, than the Indian politicians and government. We are in it for mutual benefit, and shall walk away if the whole thing does not make business sense. The farmer will of course get his land back.
Privately, these retired army brass - captains, colonels and brigadiers, who venture into contract farming after early retirement, also mention, that they have consulted extensively, with batteries of legal experts, while drawing up the exact wording of the contract farming contracts that the farmers are "requested" to put their thumb to. The lawyers get their share of the farmers misery too.
It is the public relations whizz kids, media writers with journalistic aspiration, and fresh management grads, and media experts sitting in Mumbai, who draft the press releases, who start painting the scenario of emperor's new clothes for the naked emperor, in real earnest.
They seem to go overboard in their enthusiasm in "selecting" the 400 or so odd, "extremely lucky" diligent farmers, with whom the company will sign an experimental contract.
And like that bandmaster, in the Bihar mofussil town, they tell each farmer, the same story that the band master tells all his shagirds, whom he has taken under his fold. "Munna, tera music mein bahut talent hai, tu to 50-100 shadi me band baja kar seedhe Mumbai nikal jaana, wahan par meri jaan pahchan ke kuch film music director hain". The poor Munna, delightedly but a bit warily, agrees to joining the band master in the fond hope, that one day, he will become the next Himesh Reshamayyia that Mumbai film industry, has all along been waiting for. He begins to imagine himself as leading big teams of musical band orchestra and giving final touches to popular lilting tunes for the Indian masses ... mere desh ki dharti sona ugle, ugle heere moti, mere desh ki dharti....
He brings out the dozen odd songs as well, that he wrote on the side, and hopes they too, will make it to the top of T-Series charts. ...Raja ki aayegi baraat, rangeelee hogi raat, magan main naachoongi....
One really wonders, why the corporate farming bandmasters and contract farming experts, even bother, to select 400 or so, illiterate, debt laden, traditional farmers, when these contract farming experts, can just acquire dirt cheap, farm land, from distressed farmers, and train 400 of their own youth, with tractor driving licenses, and set them up to farm and till for them ?
Maybe they just feel it is their patriotic duty to respond to the call of Shri Singh and Mr Chidambaram for private sector to generously invest in rural infrastructure and Indian agriculture ?
There is afterall, no shortage of unemployed, eager, tie clad, white shirted, and smart manpower in India, looking for jobs in Tata, ITC and Reliance. And of course, the seeds, the fertilizers, the pesticides, the water drilling technologies, the herbicides, the biotechnology access to wonderful organic and GM seeds, financial loans, latest technological inputs, storage and fumigating technologies, global marketing muscle, advertising reach - all these inputs can come from inhouse itself.
Vertical integration and competitive advantage, is what this is called in management schools lingo.
What SWOT Analysis about Indian farmers is occurring in the Indian Agriculture and Commerce Ministry is beyond my comprehension.
Afterall, these are the production inputs, that made the agricultural gadget makers, rich in the first place. And who knows better, as to how to take farm produce, from farm to fork, with fewest middlemen ? Can anybody ever beat ITC, Reliance or Rallis in the logistics of transporting fresh food from farms to urban markets ?
Why is the farmer asked to tuck up his dhoti, become the essential middleman, and put his dirty thumb to the spick and span, contract farming contract, and elaborate legal documents ?
No shortage of intelligent swindlers, stiching wonderful clothes, of a wonderful but invisible to the eye, material, for the " naked emperoror " of Indian farm fields - the farmer.

Continuing on the theme of academic honours to Indian politicians, specifically chosen for the power they wield in the galleries of Indian government, Cabinet and Indian ministeries, Mrs Sonia Gandhi has now been chosen to receive a rare Belgian honor. It is called "Order of Leopold" and is the second highest civilian honour of Belgium.
Now who are we to comment on academic honours being bestowed on Indians known for their distinguished academic achievements but when the honours are bestowed only to powerful Indian politicians, and that too for their " constructive nationalism ", it does set some alarm bells ringing.
Is there a shortage of Indian academicians or social workers that only political and powerful Indians are chosen by foreign countries for bestowing high honours and awards and distinctions ? Yes, In India, the mixture of honours, academics, economics and politics, is the new way to get entry to the Indian decision makers.
And the Indian media is busy congratulating itself on the super power status of India and the Mittals who take over Arcelor, and forget the sheer naked reality of being the only country that has succeeded in the dubious achievement of 150,000 farmer suicides in 15 years. Yes Super Power India, Asian Tiger, Foe of the Chinese, Incredible India, alright. Let even one of these politicians get an award from the farmers of India, then we shall have no objection, to powerful Indian politicians like Smt Sonia Gandhi and ManMohan Singh, receiving rare academic awards and honours from European countries, for their so called contribution, to " constructive nationalism " and selective reshaping of the economic liberalization agenda of India.

Requirement Number One - The very existence of contract farming will require the continued existence of the Indian farmer. The big question is, in what numbers. Lets take a guess, - 650 million farmers managing the Indian farm fields is the current scenarion. This certainly calls for some classic management expertise. That is way too many of them. So the first thing required is to reduce the number of farmers to the extent that farming at least can begin to look like farming, rather than, squatting, by farmers on agricultural land. Maybe from 650 million farmers to 20 million farmers would be the ideal scenario, we may need to build some complex data and statistical models to prove this thesis, but then if I can find a sponsor I would be willing to have a go at this project. It would keep me fit as well as also buy me that piece of land in Europe grape vine country, I always keep dreaming of.
The big problem is that somehow genocide, war and communism are fast becoming unfashionable in the present day world where small bands of terrorists are giving sleepless nights to powers that be and to the airlines and media. Everybody seems to be focused on the global fight against terror and nobody has the time to work out simple calculations on the gigantic issue of as to how the Indian farming population can be reduced from 650 million to a manageable 20 million.
The other problem, is that India happens to be a vibrant democracy, in fact, the largest democracy on earth. So the solution has to at least seem, democratic, and achieved, so to say, by political process, if not necessarily by due consensus. I am sure some bright management kids from India's top B-Schools will shortly solve this problem.

Indian farming is in a mess. Indian farmers are in a greater mess. Indian farmers are running around like the Emperor without clothes, wishing for the clever master weavers to stitch for them, clothes of that fantastic material, that looks so fashionable as to be in fact invisible, but at the same time, is terribly expensive. Sustainable farming in India, is a thing of the past.
Indian government, agriculture and commerce ministries, corporate interests, IMF, World Bank, global trade blocs and local home grown Indian agricultural scientists, have taken over the right to dictate to the Indian farmer, what he should be doing to get out of the royal mess he finds himself in.
One of the brilliant ideas that are being thrown around is that of contract farming. Yes farming by contract, such a simple and benevolent idea thrown in by consultants of global repute.
The problem is that the Indian farmer is still too illiterate to understand clearly that contract farming is the next " hen that will lay golden eggs " for him. So this blog is meant to make him, the Indian farmer, understand that, contract farming, is really, just what the doctor ordered, for the ailing and terminally ill, 650 million Indian farmers.